Hey. I wrote you a poem. It goes like this:
I know this pain
Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?
Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day
You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin' your worries pass you by
Don't you think it's worth your time
To change your mind?
Make up your mind.
Hold on.
Do you love it, or what? My poem? You did, right?
I didn’t write it. It is a once beloved, mostly maligned corny song from the 90s, y’all. I mean…look at the hat, for starters. The vest. The Very Much Boots. Anyway.
It’s basic. It’s corny. And it’s right on the money. We have to admit it. We are looking so hard for answers, believing we are so complicated and what works for other people doesn’t work for us and we are SPECIAL and DIFFERENT and my problems are REAL and unsolvable and then…Wilson Phillips creeps into your playlist and you are like, oh. The 90s are bringing me some Realness and I can either go back to my dense philosophizing and victim convictions or I can go OMG I JUST GOT OWNED BY Wilson Philips.
What’s the takeaway for me?
I know this pain
I think she does. It's actually not that unique because it's part of just being human.
Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?
Yeah, why? They aren’t cute. And they are pretty uncomfortable.
No one can change your life except for you.
Preach!
Don't ever let anyone step all over you.
Okkaaayy, was I doing that? Sort of?
Just open your heart and your mind
UGH THIS IS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS because #hurtinthepast
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?
Fair to who? I mean, if fair has something to do with “justice” and being in right relationship with myself and others” then…no. It's not fair. But better than that it's not nice. No need to be a Mean Girl to myself.
AND THIS:
You could sustain
I could? Like, build something sustainable for myself instead of over-do, over-think, go go go crash super hard repeat?
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
Oh good question, ummm, perhaps. I mean it IS familiar at least.
You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness
WHAT?? Blaming people is kind of one of my lesser hobbies.
You got yourself into your own mess
NO I DIDN’T WAAAHHHH WHO CAN I BLAME! This happened to me Wilson Philips…I am confused. But okay...
Lettin' your worries pass you by
Bye worries, you can leave the chat because: not useful in any way.
Don't you think it's worth your time to change your mind?
Yes. Yes it is. That sounds do-able and 100% in my control. Wow, is that the question I needed all along?
THANKS 1990s LITE ROCK. YOU ARE THE BEST.
What will you allow?
How does what you allow really become what you choose and then, who you are?
What will you decide to change? When are you gonna do that?
I’m rooting for you, kid.