Everyone Wants to be seen, Known and LoveD.
I was “good at school” as a child and a teen -- there is evidence of that. I was tested and the data said “smart” and that is what I was told. It became my one dimension. It was not long before I thought I needed to avoid failure in order to be loved, because if I failed, I wasn’t smart. And if I wasn’t smart...who was I?
I was imaginative and curious, yet I was also very hard on myself, terrified of failure and increasingly unwilling to do anything that I couldn’t master instantly or wasn’t already good at. Saddled with hidden but gigantic anxiety, I developed a fixed sense of what I could and could not do that limited my experiences in life. Eventually, I had as much trouble focusing without intense pressure as I did with it.
This was all fine...until it really wasn’t.
In the push-pull of succeeding at school, pleasing my parents, managing my emotional life, and questioning my spirituality there were adults in my life who gave me what I needed: honesty, respect, choices, consequences, patience and empathy. These people set academic standards to meet and a flexible framework in which to explore my heart’s deep desire. They saw more than “smart!” -- they were able to see all of me and reflect it back to me with support and even excitement for who I was becoming. They knew me and they loved me anyway. This is what allowed me to expand, to grow, to fail (gasp), and become...I'll say it: awesome. It wasn’t until I was seen, known and loved as a whole person that I was really “good at school” and ultimately, "good at life."
In my relationships with students and young adults, I listen with empathy and curiosity, trust that they know themselves better than anyone else and, behind the most self-limiting beliefs, I see their shining, best spirit. I can help with the things that lie beneath the desire for academic and social success: stress-management, self-confidence, executive function, thought patterns, goal achievement, and personal seeking and finding. Challenge and support, alongside compassionate accountability and a cracking sense of humor, have made me an ally to even the most stuck or directionless person (including parents).
Own it, use it, let it help you build who you want to be and how you want to live.
Let’s do this work together.
What else do you want to know about me?
In addition to ongoing training and professional development with Coach Training EDU, I have:
bossed varsity rowers as a coxswain at Georgetown University (coaching in a boat!)
trained in pastoral counseling and spiritual direction with a Masters of Divinity from Yale University
served as a juvenile hall chaplain in New Haven and Los Angeles
co-founded an institute for social action at St. Mary’s College in Moraga, CA
served as a campus minister at Santa Clara University and at Justin Siena High School (Napa) where I built and led many life-changing retreats and service immersion experiences
taught at every grade level in public and private schools on the East and West Coasts
Born and raised on the south side of Chicago, I now live with my family in Napa, California.
For over 20 years it has been my privilege to coach, mentor and guide young people -- and their parents -- in a distracting, constantly shifting world.